While sitting and reflecting over 2016, I realized I have experienced many mountains and valleys. I vividly remember the many times I thought I would not make it through but God, as always, has proven He is faithful. While in my worship time, I was encouraged by the song Moving Forward performed byPastor Hezekiah Walker which repeats
I'm not going back, I'm moving ahead
I'm here to declare to You my past is over
In You, all things are made new
Surrendered my life to Christ, I'm moving, moving forward
These lyrics really motivated me to not run from the growing process that is taking place in my life. Now, I will be the first to admit that change is not easy but God promises that he will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). During this year my faith, like so many others, has been tested. I really have seen God mold me and reveal to me my character when things get tough. So as we come to the close of another year, I pray that you endure the process that God has started in you. No matter the highs and lows that come your way, remember to continue moving forward with God as your guide!
Have you ever said something and regretted it after you had some time to reflect on it? I can recall plenty of times when this was the case for me. When I was younger, I was really outspoken and just spoke the things that came to mind. At that time I really did not understand that I should not speak all the thoughts in my head but listen more to understand others. The Bible confirms this in Proverbs 21:23 "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles."
Now you may be wondering, what is the harm of speaking all of the thoughts that come to mind?
I will never forget the morning I woke up before my family to spend some quiet time with God. I had my Bible, journal and pen thinking I was ready for the Holy Spirit to share what God wanted me to know that day. I sat still for about one minute or less and my mind was rapidly racing with questions to God.
I remember sitting there and asking God, How come you are not answering any of my questions?
Why does it seem like new beginnings are birthed in the midst of a storm?
This question came to mind last night while I was looking through past journal entries. Here is the part of my prayer to God that sparked my question above...
"Lastly thank you for the confirmation with the pregnancy test. Please lead, protect and help me through this new journey. You have done it before and I know you will do it again."
I can recall my father always saying, "There are no free lunches". I didn't quite understand what he meant until I was working, paying bills and living on my own. I started to realize he meant that in life there is always a trade-off which has an effect not only on my time or money but in all areas of my life.
Now, what is a trade off?
Many times we try to do too many things on our own and as a result, we find ourselves worn out to the point of exhaustion. Then after it is too late, we notice the effect of trying to do it all by ourselves especially through the people around us.
Well, this is my life right now. Being a SAHM (stay at home mom) of two children and a wife, I feel like I have too much on my plate sometimes. I am normally multitasking to the point that I don't know if I am coming or going. Many times I work myself beyond the point of exhaustion which causes me to be cranky as my daughter points out often. The Holy Spirit showed me that when I don't spend time in the Bible or in prayer that my spirit starts to harden and then that hardness begins to manifest into my physical being as well. This, in turn, effects my family because I can become unpleasant to be around due to the anger and anxiety which has built up over time.