My family pointed out to me that I never say what I mean. Even though I was a little offended by their comment, God allowed me to remain to open minded to hear and understand what they meant. They mentioned that I have a tendency to ask in roundabout way for the things I want or may need help with rather than just come out and say it directly. So upon giving what they said some more thought, I came to the realization that I truly don't know how to ask for help.
This lesson came to me when I had family coming over to visit. I like to give away clothes that my daughter can no longer fit in order to bless someone else because God blessed me with bags of clothes in the past from others. So I started cleaning out my daughter's dresser a couple days before the family was to arrive.
What God showed me is that I failed to be fully prepared.
There is a beautiful hymn that says
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all,
I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
Let's look at what it means to surrender. Merriam-Webster defines surrender as to give the control or use of (something) to someone else. Now I know this definition does not make "surrendering" sound like a pleasant task but let me share some of my journey with you.
I knew about Jesus from growing up in the church but for some reason, I still had a fear of surrendering all to God. I did not know exactly what that would look like and was not sure what I would have to give up or let go of. It took me going through some trials and errors to get to a place of brokenness that I realized there had to be a better way to live.
I truly understand why we run or try to avoid getting corrected. Who wants to admit they were wrong in any situation or that they played a part in why something happened? None of us!
So many times we want to run away from our correction due to how uncomfortable we may feel which is stated in Hebrews 12:11 "Now no chastening for the present seemeth joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." But we must get to a point where we can endure the correction process because we will be better on the other side of it.
I am constantly asking my 5-year-old daughter to remember her manners. For some unknown reason, the words "please" and "thank you" seem so foreign to her. There are times when she remembers and there are plenty of other times where you can hear me saying "mind your manners".
While reading a bedtime story to my daughter, from what she calls her Jesus book, I came across the story of Jesus healing 10 lepers and only 1 gave thanks for the healing that was done. This story found in Luke 17:11-19 brought to my attention the following question.
Do I mind my manners?
Lately, I have been wrestling with my thoughts due to the trials my family and I have been going through. So today the Holy Spirit asked me a question, What is the measure of your faith? And in return, I was not quite sure how to answer.
But before I get ahead of myself, lets first define a couple of things. What is faith? The Bible defines faith in Hebrews 11:1 as "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Secondly, What is the definition of measure? Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines the word measure in many different ways but the one the Holy Spirit focused me in on was measure - an estimate of what is to be expected (as of a person or situation).
When situations arise that we feel unprepared for (otherwise known as trials, tribulations or corrections), we tend to forget the many things which God has brought us through in the past.
This forgetfulness has also become known as "spiritual amnesia".
Now amnesia, according to Merriam-Webster, can be defined as the selective overlooking or ignoring of events or acts that are not favorable or useful to one's purpose or position. This definition explains how we typically feel in these situations (trials, tribulations or corrections). We tend to view them as not favorable times in our lives and have different ways to explain them away. My favorite seems to be "I was just going through something."